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I can't stand those people who hate football but still go along to games to deliberately cause trouble and ruin them for everybody else......................................
I was sitting on a bench in the park next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.
He said: Up until Last week, I still had it all!!! A cook, cooked my meals, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed, pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV, Internet, I went to the gym, the pool, the library, I could still go to school.
I asked him, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?
Oh No, nothing like that he said. No, no ... I got out of prison!!
A man goes into hospital for a vasectomy. When he wakes up he's surrounded by several anxious looking doctors and asks nervously "Is there a problem?"
The head surgeon says gently, with tears in his eyes "I'm afraid so...I'm sorry but your notes got mixed up and we've given you a sex change instead of a vasectomy"
The patient is devastated and shockingly replies "Do you mean to say I'll never experience another erection?"
The surgeon pauses for a moment, then says "Well, you might, but it won't be yours!!..
The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to the Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting or trapping the predators, the Sierra Club had a "more humane" solution to this issue. What they were proposing was for the animals to be captured alive. The males would then be castrated and let loose again. This was ACTUALLY proposed by the Sierra Club and by the U.S. Forest Service.
All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes.
Finally an old fellow wearing a big cowboy hat in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said, "Son, I don't think you understand our problem here. These coyotes ain't f-in' our sheep; they're eatin' 'em!"