Below Zero

[AzPete]

This came from my nephew in Sioux City, Iowa. I must agree with most having lived in several states mentioned.

60 above  zero:
Arizonians  turn on the  heat.
People in Iowa plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably. 
People in Cedar Rapids  sunbathe.

40 above  zero:
Italian & English cars won't  start.
People in Iowa drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Des Moines gets  thicker.

20 above  zero:
Floridians put on coats,  thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Iowa throw on a flannel  shirt.

15 above  zero:
New York landlords finally turn up  the heat.
People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets  cold.

0
People in Miami all die.
Iowans close the  windows.

10 below  zero:
Californians fly away to  Mexico 
People in Iowa get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling  cookies door to door.  (True!)

40 below zero:
Washington  DC runs out of hot air.
People in Iowa let the dogs sleep  indoors.

100 below  zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North  Pole.
Iowa get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin  scale.)
People in Iowa start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Iowa public schools will open 2  hours late.