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THE JEWISH QUARTERBACK

carlizard

Active Member
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then, one night while watching Fox News he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

“I've got to get this guy!” Coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm!”

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football and the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”

“I don't want to talk to you,” the old woman says. “You are not my son!”

“I don't think you understand, Mother,” the young man pleads. “I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans.”

“No! Let me tell you!” his mother retorts. “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!” The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, “I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago.”
 
Very funny. Just in case anyone actually does think Chicago is a bit of a war zone, rest assured the news is quite over blown. The city itself is very clean and safe. You just don't want to visit any of the surrounding neighborhoods that are made up of shall we say less than desirable types. All the shootings you hear about nationally are just thugs shooting at each other. Unfortunately, their aim is about as sharp as their intellect and they usually harm innocents (also ghetto dwellers) while also thinning their own herd. The bangers are capping people visiting the Mag Mile.
 
Never had a good experience flying through O'Hare or Midway. Some of the rudest, nastiest people I've ever encountered. It's made me to NEVER want to visit Chi Land. Hell, it's worse than Detroit!
 
Never had a good experience flying through O'Hare or Midway. Some of the rudest, nastiest people I've ever encountered. It's made me to NEVER want to visit Chi Land. Hell, it's worse than Detroit!
Not surprisingly, you are in the very small minority. All I ever hear from people when I travel the country is about what great experiences they have had in Chicago and how wonderful the people were to them. Seriously. What is it with you?!
 
Not surprisingly, you are in the very small minority. All I ever hear from people when I travel the country is about what great experiences they have had in Chicago and how wonderful the people were to them. Seriously. What is it with you?!

You don't lie very convincingly bub!


Mark

Sent from my semi-smart phone
 
Or maybe it's just the home of nobama, blogoyalittlebitch, rhamstein, etc we ain't happy with. Who knows.
It is not the home of either of those two dumb asses. They just used it to gain political power thanks to the hundreds of thousands of...well, you know who voted those types to office. Blago I have to accept.
 
Don't get your thong in a twist Nancy, Chihole isn't the only shitty place to avoid. New York, the entire State of Kalifornica, DC and Boston are a few that also come to mind. Besides...aren't you in Nappyheadville anyway??
 
When I first heard that joke it was the fine city of Detroit that won the Super Bowl. :confused:

fd
 
Don't get your thong in a twist Nancy, Chihole isn't the only shitty place to avoid. New York, the entire State of Kalifornica, DC and Boston are a few that also come to mind. Besides...aren't you in Nappyheadville anyway??
Just defending my home state and local area. And yes, I am a surburbanite as opposed to a city dweller. And ChiTown ain't shitty corn boy.
 
Chicago is a shithole. I hated visiting there - toll roads, horrific traffic, airport delays, no guns, crap!
 
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